Your clients are either currently grieving, know someone who is grieving, or will experience grief. But grief literacy represents a significant gap in a financial professional’s education. Though financial planners regularly manage client assets during times of death, loss, and major life transitions, they often lack the proper tools and vocabulary to navigate these situations effectively.

Financial professionals who develop these skills become more confident in their practice and are better positioned to retain clients during vulnerable periods. This often extends to retaining generational clients, as families are more likely to continue working with advisors who demonstrated compassion and competence during their most difficult times.

Understanding Grief and Loss

Loss isn’t always death, and grief isn’t only associated with death. Loss is the absence of something or someone, and grief is a response to that. Other examples of losses your clients may grieve include caregiving for a parent, divorce, job loss, an empty nest, closing a business, infertility, a cancer diagnosis, or the transition into retirement.

As you prepare to support grieving clients, it’s important to understand the concept of primary loss and secondary loss. Primary loss is the initial loss your client experiences, such as the death of a spouse. Their secondary losses are the additional losses they experience as a result of their primary loss. For a client who has lost their spouse, secondary losses may include the loss of companionship and financial stability.

These secondary losses often have significant financial components that financial professionals can help address. Identifying and discussing a client’s secondary losses is one way a financial planner can more easily and naturally approach discussions about primary losses. Clients are often more comfortable discussing practical frustrations, such as financial pressure, before addressing the deeper emotional aspects of their situation.

8 Ways to Support Grieving Clients

1. Send a Personalized Condolence Card

Choose a blank card rather than one with a pre-written sympathy message. Write a thoughtful message that acknowledges their loss. It will mean so much more to your client that you took the time to write a personalized message.

2. Eliminate Distractions

You want to be present for your grieving client, which requires conscious effort. Remove clocks and other distractors from the meeting space. Put away your phone and computer.  Use visual reminders, such as a sticky note on your computer or signs on your office walls, to help redirect your attention back to the client.

3. Acknowledge Their Loss

When speaking with your client, it’s important not to ignore, dismiss, justify, or compare their grief. When someone says that their aunt died, one might wonder: “Were you close?”, “How did they die?”, or “How old were they?” as if that will justify how significant the loss is. The answers to those questions don’t matter—whatever the loss, it is significant to them and should be acknowledged as such.

If you knew the person they lost, bring what you know about them to life. For example, “The loss of your mom, Jane, is devastating. I loved her smile and the stories she would tell.” If you didn’t know the person, then ask about them. Ask your client to tell you a story about the person they lost and about how they lived.

4. Embrace Listening

Be the trusted listener that your grieving clients need. Before you start the meeting, drop your shoulders, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you’re there to listen and learn. Taking notes throughout the meeting will help demonstrate that you’re listening. When you don’t write things down, the other person wonders if you’re going to remember what they’ve told you. By taking notes, you’re showing them that you care, building their trust in you.

5. Avoid Pushing Your Client to Make Decisions Quickly

Very few financial decisions actually need to be made in the first year following a loss. Acknowledge the extended nature of grief and your client’s need for time to process the emotional and practical aspects of their loss, rather than asking them to make financial decisions quickly. The initial period should focus on organizing and locating important documents, then prioritizing tasks, and then opening conversations about options.

6. Adapt Your Approach for Grief Fog

You may have clients who are experiencing grief fog. Grief fog refers to the cognitive issues that accompany loss, including forgetfulness, overwhelm, and brain fatigue, that make it difficult for clients to process numbers, figures, and complex decisions. A few signs to look out for include a glazed-over expression or distant gaze, difficulty processing information, and body language that becomes closed or withdrawn.

This condition can persist for two or more years, and planners must adjust their approach accordingly. If you are working with a client who you suspect is experiencing grief fog, consider the following strategies:

• Avoid overwhelming, open-ended questions. Instead, offer simple A or B choices.
• Limit meetings to three key discussion points.
• Provide a written summary of the meeting via email for future reference.
• Create a one-page document for the client to take away after the meeting.
• Follow up after meetings with voice memos when appropriate.
• Allow the client to set the meeting pace.

7. Make a Plan for Task Management

Some clients are procrastinators who need gentle encouragement, while others want to check tasks off their list quickly. Successfully supporting your clients requires understanding and adapting to their natural tendencies and current emotional state.  Depending on your client’s individual processing style, these are a few examples of strategies to consider for helping them manage the tasks ahead:

• Create a visual timeline showing immediate, secondary, and long-term tasks.
• Ask your clients what type of help would be most beneficial to them.
• Help identify family members or friends who can provide support.
• Offer your team’s assistance for appropriate tasks.
• Break large projects into smaller, manageable components.

8. Offer Encouragement and Positive Feedback

Positive reinforcement can help build momentum during a difficult period. Acknowledge your client’s progress and provide enthusiastic recognition when they complete tasks. This could include follow-up emails recognizing their accomplishments or a verbal acknowledgement of their efforts.

Engage Clients with Compassion and Confidence

Financial professionals who master grief literacy will find themselves better equipped to serve clients while building stronger, more meaningful relationships. To learn more about how to navigate conversations when your clients are at their most vulnerable, watch our on-demand webinar, The Grief-ready Advisor: Building Trust and Loyalty with Your Clients Before, During, and After Loss.

DISCLAIMER: The eMoney Advisor Blog is meant as an educational and informative resource for financial professionals and individuals alike. It is not meant to be, and should not be taken as financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Those seeking professional advice may do so by consulting with a professional advisor. eMoney Advisor will not be liable for any actions you may take based on the content of this blog.

The views and opinions expressed by this blog post guest are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of eMoney Advisor, LLC. eMoney Advisor is not responsible for the content, views or opinions presented by our guest, nor may eMoney Advisor be held liable for any actions taken by you based on the content, views or opinions of the guest.

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