Social scientists say that losing a spouse—whether through death or divorce—is one of life’s most emotionally and financially challenging transitions, giving it the highest possible score of 100 on the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), which measures how life events affect health and well-being.¹ For financial professionals, these pivotal moments call for more than technical expertise; they require a blend of emotional intelligence, careful communication, and an understanding of a client’s state of mind.

According to our research, only 37 percent of financial professionals feel comfortable discussing the death of a spouse, and even fewer—just 18 percent—are at ease talking about divorce.² Yet with gray divorce rates (divorce among adults aged 50 and older) doubling over the past two decades³ and a widening life expectancy gap between men and women⁴, the need for advisors who can effectively support clients who suddenly find themselves single has never been greater.

The insights shared in our recent eBook, “Candid Conversations: Suddenly Single,” highlight ways financial planners can show empathy and help clients manage emotional and financial stress. Here are a few key takeaways.

Choose Your Words Carefully

The words we choose matter, especially when supporting clients through emotional transitions. Understanding why some responses are more effective than others can help us communicate more thoughtfully. Saying “I know how you feel” or “You’ll feel better in time,” can unintentionally dismiss the client’s unique experience and emotions. Instead, phrases like, “I’m here for you” or “Would you like to share what you’ve been thinking about lately?” create space for clients to process their feelings while knowing they have support.

The key is to recognize that your role isn’t to fix their emotional state or compare it to others’ experiences, but rather to provide a supportive presence that acknowledges their individual journey.

Walk a Mile in the Client’s Shoes

When experiencing emotional trauma from losing a spouse, clients often struggle with cognitive overload. The brain can only handle so much information at once, and the weight of their emotional situation greatly impacts their ability to absorb complex financial information and make decisions.

Understanding this cognitive load enables financial professionals to better support clients by breaking down tasks and information into manageable segments. One effective approach is the “now, soon, later” framework, which guides clients in prioritizing immediate needs while deferring less urgent decisions to a more appropriate time.

For example, a recently widowed client might need to do the following now, soon, and later:

• NOW: Attend to immediate family needs and essential paperwork
• SOON: Address life insurance and review income/expense analysis
• LATER: Make decisions about housing and long-term investments

This structured approach helps prevent overwhelming clients while ensuring critical tasks aren’t overlooked.

Navigate Common Blind Spots

Newly single clients often face challenges that can catch them off guard. As their financial planner, you can help them anticipate and prepare for:

• The reality of living alone, including new responsibilities and potential safety concerns
• Financial implications of keeping the primary residence, especially during divorce
• Changes to their tax situation when moving from married filing jointly to single status
• Loss of identity and the need to redefine oneself
• Complications of potential future relationships, including impacts on Social Security benefits
• Necessary updates to estate planning and financial documentation

Understanding these common blind spots allows you to proactively address potential challenges before they become overwhelming for your client.

Learn Skills to Deepen Connection

Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings. Unlike sympathy—which can create distance by positioning us as outsiders feeling sorry for someone—empathy involves putting ourselves in another’s shoes, fostering a genuine connection with their experience.

This distinction is crucial in financial planning because empathy builds trust and creates a safe space for clients to open up about their financial and emotional concerns. When clients feel genuinely understood, they’re more likely to share important information, follow through on financial recommendations, and maintain a long-term relationship.

To demonstrate empathy effectively, practice active listening by asking open-ended questions and fully focusing on understanding your client’s perspective before offering solutions.

Build a Specialized Support Network

Developing a strong referral network is about more than just providing resources—it’s about positioning yourself as a trusted advisor who can guide clients through every aspect of their transition. Having an established network of reliable professionals offers several key benefits for financial planners:

• Strengthening your value proposition by demonstrating comprehensive care for clients’ well-being
• Creating reciprocal referral relationships that can help grow your practice
• Differentiating your practice in an increasingly competitive market
• Building deeper client trust by showing you’ve anticipated their needs
• Saving time by having vetted resources readily available when clients need them

This network becomes especially valuable for suddenly single clients, who often need support beyond financial guidance. By having a vetted list of professionals—from mental health practitioners to home maintenance experts—you can help clients navigate their new normal with confidence while reinforcing your role as their primary financial advisor.

Be There for Your Clients

By preparing yourself with these tools and insights, you can create a safe space for clients during life’s most challenging moments. Having one compassionate and empathetic professional in their corner can make all the difference for someone navigating the suddenly single transition.

If you’re ready to dive deeper into supporting clients through major life transitions, download our comprehensive eBook, Candid Conversations: Suddenly Single, for more detailed insights, practical examples, and actionable strategies.

Sources:

1. T.H. Holmes and T.H. Rahe. “The Social Readjustment Rating Scale,” Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 1967.

2. eMoney Lead with Planning Research, May 2022, Advisors n=360.

3. American Psychological Association. “More Couples Are Divorcing after Age 50 than Ever Before,” November 2023.

4. USAFacts. “Do Women Live Longer than Men in the U.S.?,” September 2023.

DISCLAIMER: The eMoney Advisor Blog is meant as an educational and informative resource for financial professionals and individuals alike. It is not meant to be, and should not be taken as financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Those seeking professional advice may do so by consulting with a professional advisor. eMoney Advisor will not be liable for any actions you may take based on the content of this blog.

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