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Navigating Sensitive Conversations: How to Conduct Effective Estate Plan Reviews

Sasha Grabenstetter October 18, 2024

Mature couple reviewing estate plan happily

With National Estate Planning Awareness Week around the corner, now is the perfect time for financial advisors to sharpen their estate plan review strategies. Despite its importance, estate planning is challenging for many advisors and clients alike. Recent data from Fidelity’s 2024 Investor Insight Study reveals that a quarter of clients working with advisors want assistance with estate planning but aren’t receiving it.1 This gap presents both a challenge and an opportunity for proactive financial professionals. 

The Importance of Regular Estate Plan Reviews 

Estate plans are not “set it and forget it” documents. They require regular review and updates to affirm they align with clients’ current situations and wishes. As a financial advisor, initiating these reviews is essential to providing comprehensive financial guidance. 

In our recent podcast episode, Christina Lynn, PhD, CFP®, AFC®, CDFA®, a Practice Management Consultant at Mariner Wealth Advisors, emphasized that while estate planning can be complex and emotionally charged, it’s an important component of financial planning. She advocates for advisors to develop the skills and confidence necessary to guide clients through this process, ensuring their estate plans remain up-to-date and effective. 

Five Strategies for Effective Estate Plan Reviews 

1. Leverage Life Transitions

Life transitions, both positive and negative, can serve as natural entry conversation points for estate planning discussions. These could include: 

  • Birth of a child or grandchild 
  • Marriage or divorce 
  • Career changes or retirement 
  • Health diagnoses 
  • Loss of a family member 

While these transitions can be stressful, they also present opportunities to ensure a client’s estate plan aligns with their new circumstances. 

2. Implement a Service Calendar 

Consider adopting a service calendar approach for estate plan reviews. For instance, you might schedule these reviews for even-numbered years or at specific intervals (e.g., every 3-5 years). This approach sets clear expectations and normalizes these emotionally charged discussions as part of your regular service offering. It also guarantees that estate plans are reviewed periodically to account for changes in clients’ lives or legal regulations.
 

3. Start with Education 

Begin your estate planning conversations with an educational approach. This can help depersonalize the topic initially, making it less daunting for clients. Dr. Lynn recommends concentrating on two essential areas during these discussions. First, identify who the client has designated as fiduciaries and evaluate whether these selections are suitable for their current situation. Second, review the planned distribution of the client’s assets after their death, ensuring it accurately reflects their wishes and aligns with their present circumstances.  

Cover basics such as: 

  • The difference between wills and trusts 
  • The importance of beneficiary designations 
  • The role of powers of attorney and healthcare directives 

As the conversation progresses, you can begin to personalize the information for your client’s specific situation. 

4. Practice Empathy and Patience 

Approaching estate planning conversations with empathy and patience is key, given the emotional nature of the topic. If a client seems resistant or uncomfortable, respect their feelings and be prepared to revisit the topic at a later date. “Rather than pushing clients to action, focus on understanding their perspective,” notes Dr. Lynn. “For instance, you might say, ‘I’ve made this recommendation. What are your thoughts on it? Tell me where you’re at and what’s going through your mind.'” As an advisor, you may have gone through the estate planning process yourself. While this experience is valuable, remember that it might be entirely new and potentially overwhelming for your client. Recall your initial feelings when you first tackled estate planning and use that beginner’s mind perspective to guide your approach.
 

5. Include Family Members When Appropriate 

In some cases, it may be beneficial to include other family members in estate planning discussions. This can help confirm everyone is on the same page and facilitate smoother wealth transfers in the future. Before involving family members in these sensitive conversations, always get your client’s explicit permission. When navigating estate planning discussions, always prioritize your client’s confidentiality and remain attentive to their personal preferences. 

Conversation Starters 

Initiating estate planning discussions isn’t easy. You’ll want to do it thoughtfully and respectfully, but with intention. Here are a few examples to help you get started: 

  • “Have there been changes in your family this year? —Is there a new family member you’d like to list as a beneficiary?” 
  • “It’s been [X years] since we last reviewed your estate plan. Your estate plan is an important part of securing your future. Should we schedule some time to ensure it still aligns with your wishes?” 
  • “I’ve been reading about the importance of including digital assets in estate plans. Would you like to discuss how this might apply to your situation?” 
  • “When creating the development of your estate plan, who was involved in those discussions? I would be happy to help facilitate a family meeting to get everyone on the same page.” 

Remember, the goal is to make these conversations a normal part of your client interactions, emphasizing that estate planning is an ongoing process rather than a one-time event. 

Holistic Estate Planning for Stronger Client Relationships 

By mastering the art of estate plan reviews, you can provide invaluable service to your clients, ensuring their wishes are honored and their loved ones are protected.  

As Dr. Lynn puts it, “Be endlessly curious about what’s going on for them and make it your mission to really understand their perspective without any ulterior motive.” This strategy, combined with your technical expertise, will enable you to provide comprehensive and empathetic estate planning advice. 

If you want to take a deeper dive on this topic, check out our eBook Candid Conversations: Estate Planning. The eBook delves into more conversation starters, advice from experts around the industry, and other practical guidance to inform your estate plan reviews.  

Sources:

  1. “2024 Fidelity Investor Insights Study.” Fidelity Investmentsn.d. https://institutional.fidelity.com/app/literature/view?itemCode=9912239&renditionType=PDF.

DISCLAIMER: The eMoney Advisor Blog is meant as an educational and informative resource for financial professionals and individuals alike. It is not meant to be, and should not be taken as financial, legal, tax or other professional advice. Those seeking professional advice may do so by consulting with a professional advisor. eMoney Advisor will not be liable for any actions you may take based on the content of this blog.

Image of Sasha Grabenstetter
About the Author

Sasha Grabenstetter, AFC®, BFA™ is a Financial Planning Education Consultant at eMoney Advisor. She is an integral part of the internal and external financial planning education programs, as well as financial planning content development. Sasha won the 2020 Outstanding Symposium Practitioners' Forum Award from the Association for Financial Counseling and Planning Education. She previously co-authored “Apple Seed: A Student Guide to Pro Bono Financial Planning” and “All My Money: Change for the Better.” With close to 10 years in financial education, Sasha received her AFC® designation in 2015 and graduated with her master’s degree from Texas Tech University in 2012.

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